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Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

chadp — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 12:40:06 -0000

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with this article on some very key points. First off, I am a senior psychology student who has worked full time every semester while sustaining a full-time status at school. My parents are very capable of helping me if not paying for all of my college. They also have the "tough love" mindset which I feel has more consequences than benefits. For me, working full time has hindered my ability to do well in school. Although I have managed to keep a 3.2 gpa, it is not even close to what it needs to be in order to get accepted in a masters program. Being a psychology student, it is most beneficial to continue and obtain a graduate degree. In order to go beyond a bachelors degree you must also be devoted to school programs and doing research projects, things I am unable to even think about doing while having to work outside of school. I feel as though my parents are out of the loop when it comes to college costs. Neither of them went to school or had help from their parents. Their reasoning is simple, "since we didn't get help why should you?". They look at me as a young, well-bodied individual who doesn't have the burden of raising children and therefore can devote all of my time to work and school. What they don't realize is how difficult school can be, especially if you have to limit your time to study. Sure, I get school loans that cover the costs of tuition and books, but I am left with barely enough to cover a months rent. In addition, the loans I obtain are constantly accruing interest. Working full time sets you back from graduating in the hypothetical four years. It will have taken me six years to graduate, two years that have delayed me from paying back loans and moretime to rack up debt. Finally, I find that parents who expect their children to pay for all of their school but promote getting an education are hypocrites. Throughout my childhood I have been told by my parents to get an education so as to avoid the backbreaking labor jobs they had. But, it seems that when the time to go to school comes, they are fast to ignore their words of wisdom.

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

GeekMBA360 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 14:08:31 -0000

Thanks, Marie. I remember when I was a kid, I spent hours and hours to read. Books were my best friends. And my parents were book worms, so I picked up the reading habit from them. I totally agree with you -- values and habits run deep in the family, and have huge impacts on kids.

I'm glad that you're picking up the good values from two families. :-)

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

GeekMBA360 — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:55:29 -0000

Great comment, Courtney. ""Families that could have paid for college educations, but didn't save for it." -- Totally agree. I actually think a lot of families are in this category. Our nation's saving rate was pretty low before this financial melt down. :-)

As both you and Marie commented, it's really important for parents to set the right example, and instill the right value to their kids. I'm still learning how to do that. It's not easy, but well worth the effort. :-)

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

mscheng — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:40:12 -0000

One thing I left out (tho I think it was largely implied), is that I could and can tell that education is still extremely important to my parents and those in my family, hence their values were reflected in their behavior and have thus affected me. I endeavored to begin reading the paper every day because I see my parents read them every day. I get my love of learning from them, something that I'm sure you will be imparting on your own kids :)

Mindful and meaningful spending is something imparted on my boyfriend by his own parents, and I can see it in both their behavior and in his, and hence I turn to him to learn from that kind of behavior.

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

CoSkay — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:52:58 -0000

I agree with your statement here more-so than the rest of the post.

I am one of the fortunate individuals whose parents paid for their college education. My family puts a high value on education and wanted to ensure my sister and I were able to pick what was best for us.
However, I was raised not to take things for granted. I am extremely thankful my parents paid for my education and supported me throughout. I worked during the semesters as well as each summer to earn extra cash. After college I saved money and am currently paying for my MBA (with the help of some loans).

Perhaps the reason why I am responsible, is because I watched my parents save when I was younger. They didn't splurge on new TVs or cars or fancy vacations every year and instead put money away. This might actually add another segment to your mix, "Families that could have paid for college educations, but didn't save for it." In my opinion that has potentially negative implications because it could create a snowball effect of individuals never learning to save their money.

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

GeekMBA360 — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:45:10 -0000

What a great comment!

"the behavior has to start much earlier than that. What a kid sees at home subconsciously affects how they see life in general, whether it is finances, common courtesy, respect for elders, respect for others, etc." I cannot agree more with you on this. I'm already learning this -- my kids will pick up my behaviors very quickly -- if I speak something inappropriate or get emotional, they'll learn to pick up the same thing. As a parent, I need to set the right example for them.

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

GeekMBA360 — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:43:30 -0000

Thanks. Very well said.

I think the key is to raise the kids in a way that they don't take things for granted. Make sure the kids recognize how fortunate they're to have the parental supports and resources so that the kids will make most out of it, instead of wasting the opportunities.

In your case, clearly, you've taken advantage of what you're given, learned a new language, tried internships in areas you're passionate about, etc. Good for you!

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

Educomment — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 09:52:31 -0000

Let me build the counter case:
First of all, I don't live in the US, I have studied in the UK (overseas student). The number of scholarships available here is very low, so I applied for the two I was eligble to, but I didn't get one.
So how do I finance my studies? My parents pay the lions share and I have a bank overdraft that I can use in case my cash burn rate exceeds my earnings.
So how has this affected my education?

1. I have worked during all semester brakes, but rather than working with the primary objective to make as much money as possible (typical student job), I completed internships in companies I was interested in, also abroad. Hence I earned very few money, but I believe that I have learned a lot of interesting things and that the internships contribute to my career development. A simple student job would not have helped me achieve this.

2. I studied a foreign language for two years and also stayed abroad. I was part-time working during that time, but my income was no way near my expenditures (student visa -> limited max salary). So i could not have done that without my parents financial support.

In essence, I think one needs to strike a balance between spoiling ones kids by paying for everyting and making live unnessarily hard for them, as it may well limit their choices and prevent them from achieving more. Neither is desired and parents should make their judgements based on their children's personality.

Re: Should parents pay for the full amount of their kids’ college education expenses?

Marie — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:39:30 -0000

Hi Bill,

I'm rubbing my hands together with glee having just read this post; great topic, one that is never quite definitive because, everyone has their reasons for their behavior. One point you raise indirectly in this post's writing is that one has to ask themselves - what sort of 'education' do I want to provide for my children? I too know people who come from the (loose) categories you listed above, and their attitudes all seem justifiable; a wealthy parent who wants a college education to be as rich and worry free as possible, to clear the way for future opportunities (i.e., removing the need for loans or worrying about finances); the middle/upper-class parents who pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and wish to impart a similarly valuable education on their children. The reasons are all there.

Not sure if you wish to take this discussion any further, but in order to give your children the education you wish for at the college level, the behavior has to start much earlier than that. What a kid sees at home subconsciously affects how they see life in general, whether it is finances, common courtesy, respect for elders, respect for others, etc.

As an Asian, you can imagine I was taught to pursue education with all of my wee little heart as my main tool for the future, and hence, support flowed in that direction. It was not, however, as if everything else was paid for without question; there was a periodic reinforcement of values all along the way, and usually in the direction of getting the most out of college. But anyway, that was a different time, a different economy, a different set of life requirements.

That being said, bravo on wanting to teach your kids the value of hard work and earnings, and of earning what you want. In the world they are going to grow up in, the 'silver spoons' are swiftly disappearing.